Turbulence in the World’s Soundless Moment

11/30/09 1:00 am

It’s 1 o’clock and I’m still awake

Don’t want to sleep though I feel so drained

I need to be very tired in order not to dream

About a thing that is very disturbing.

Last night I had an encounter

With familiar feeling, that keeps coming back

I braved to speak it out to the one it concerns

Hoping it might go away once unleashed.

I was wrong about my prediction

The feeling lingers on and on

A headache attacks my shell like hammer

I want to stop it but the pounding is much stronger.

I am also a regular human being capable of loving

And feels the pain, be angry and be sorry

I am not a stone or steel or something like those

I fell the way like others feel it, too.

This thing is not new to me

But I have never been accustomed to how I should deal with it

Once it strikes me, it really stuck

It clings somewhere and I never had a chemical to unglue it.

Tears fell slowly, making it messier

In desperation to make it go away

I know I could let go so far away

But want it ASAP, like immediately.

Loving is not a good idea for me at anytime

Because I don’t have a strategy to defend my susceptibility

Just let me write an essay or draw a thing

But don’t make me fall in love with someone who is already taken.

All I want is to take care of somebody

Like I never did before or haven’t performed at all

But why should things become turbulent with my intention

That’s the question that I am trying to find a good solution.

I still believe that the case is simple

And I am the one complicating my position

In due of my instability and vulnerability

And allowed me to drift away.