Letter To God

Dear  God,

First of all, I want to thank You all the days of my life- the good and bad.

If You’re gonna ask me how I’m feeling today, then, my answer is ‘I am not feeling really good!’ I know You have known for it before I felt it and the tendency to whine on it or curl up in bed.

I was just sad today. I may sound so ingratitude-ly rude for saying this after all the good things You’ve done for my life, family, and friends, in general. Well, I felt sad since I felt the difficulty already. Difficulty in trying to be tactful in the midst of impossibly bad-mannered bunch of professionals, trying not to make face to unreasonably vicious people, and finally, trying to smile when I felt like mistreated and dealt with roughly by people who thought they are the kings of this world and that we are here because we are in dire need of their mercy just for us to live in decency.

Forgive me for whining already. I know my case isn’t special, but I can’t help but feel the cruelty.

Being OFW, it also makes me sick to think that people back in my country thought I have a lot of money and enjoying my time abroad. Yes, for most of like me, we took our pictures  with nice views or with nice back drafts - and that’s because we can’t see any slums and streets with political billboards or buntings hanging in the countries our fates have taken us.

For all they know, we sacrificed our emotional and spiritual sides for the sake of good living condition for our family and for us when we arrive Home. What comes to us is hard-earned money and I wish people would understand what we’ve been through - swallowed all our pride for every single dime.

But I must not forget to thank You for not letting go of me. After seeing those lives back in where I was a month ago, whom most of them were trying much harder but didn’t hit the ball, it made me tear some in sympathy of their situations and struggles for life to be better. For that sight alone, I felt so much blessed. And I pray that You will also lay your mercy to those less fortunate in there. 

Honestly, I am already tired of waking up at 5:30 dawn just to catch up my work at 8 am. But thank You for having this wake-up alarm that never fails. I always believe that whenever there is hardship, there is something good to look more than to what is present. I have faith that You’ve prepared me for something bigger. And for this, I can loudly sing in my mind:

‘Rejoice in the Lord, He makes no mistakes. He knoweth the end of each path that I take. For when I am tried and purified, I shall come forth as GOLD.’

Through it all, I know You’re there. Thank you for all the experiences. Thank you for giving me peace when I almost lost them all. 

And above all, thank You for keeping me and my family. Always.

Xoxo